Hello all, I can’t express how happy I am right now. My last blog post has reached almost 200 views!! To some that may not be a lot, to me it’s more than I could have imagined. When wanting to start this blog I only thought I would get a few people reading.. Like my family and close friends who support all my successes : ) Hence forth, I wanted to reiterate how important it is to not try and please everyone as you will only upset yourself in the process.
As I’ve stated before (as boastful as it is) I see myself as a thoughtful and genuine person. Anyone who knows me will know my best trait is also my biggest downfall, I will care, help and jump for anyone at any given point. Even to the smallest little things “Skye will you pass me that pen” I won’t hesitate I would just go and do it. I’m an open book and will always make anyone feel welcome and comfortable, I could blabber on for ages but also be the one asking questions and just listening. -Again, you could tell me a secret or life event of yours and I would remember it a year down the line still, still amazes some people how good my memory is.
Unfortunately, several people believe the key to happiness in life is being accepted and liked by everyone. I have fallen into this trap before, trying too hard and getting it thrown back in your face. The key to true happiness is when you put more effort into who deserves it around you. It’s not about the number of friends you have it’s about how many you can rely on when it really matters. If you are someone who is lucky enough to have a massive group of friends and can trust every single one then that is absolutely fine. However, as I’ve grown up I have realised not to worry what others think and I want to invest my time in those who matter the most. Everyone is growing at different rates and stages whilst in their 20’s and personally I think it’s great to see. I am still in education finishing my journey into becoming at teacher I will finish when I’m 22, some people from around my area have little families and houses, others still live with their parents and don’t know what direction they want to take in life. Each of these scenarios are completely acceptable and you shouldn’t be made to feel like it’s not. The way your life has planned out is amazing and you should appreciate each day as you never know what could happen.
I read a post online on “signs that you are a people pleaser” and I felt personally attacked by the post… These are several signs that you are:
o You can’t say no
o You find it hard making decisions
o You rarely ask for help
o You never show your true emotions
o You don’t live according to your values
o You have no boundaries
I feel rather guilty that I tick nearly all of them boxes. Nevertheless, it is important to not create unhealthy habits like these as it is not essential to please everyone. In life it is good to be selfish for yourself. As once stated, “You can lie down for people to walk on you and someone will complain that you are not flat enough.” You can lose your identity i.e likes, values, personality and life goals. Make sure you don’t just agree with someone’s views to please them if you feel passionate about another thing. Don’t let your values drop down and your wants just for someone who could potentially not be a big part of your life.
You need to realise that it is not your job to make people happy always. Happiness is what comes from within and not always about what you do or say. For arguments sake, a work colleague which is not shifting from their mood no matter what you do could be going through a rough patch in their marriage/ relationship. Your parents could potentially be getting cross with you but no because you are the cause of their problems, but they are having financial problems and they don’t want you to find out or worry therefore it is stressing them out.
In these strange times it is especially difficult for a lot of people to fall into bad mindsets, worries or difficult moods. Try starting off the conversation off differently with someone down “What are you doing today”, “have you heard this new song? I love this music, do you?” or “what will be the first thing you do when we can go out? I can’t wait to go to the beach.” Start focusing on positives rather than constant reassurance that they are happy or that you are making them happy. Pay attention to your own feelings also as your own health and happiness is the priority right now. If that means you have days where you don’t want to reply to texts do it. If you want to scream into your pillow do it. Do what makes YOU happy. Stay smiling there is hope out there and you will get through this
- Skye x
You keep us going with your words, you are a very special person xxx 💋💋💋
Skye your the loveliest sweetest girl I know its a very interesting blog I'm so proud of you xx